I started my period last night. It was the cherry on top of my newly lonesome, frustrated-he's-such-a-dick weekend.
I woke up only a bit sore from the workout yesterday. I'm sure all the ibuprofen I'm taking for the cramps is helping, but I think legs are probably where I'll suffer the least and benefit the most since they're the best part of me right now. (let's not get too excited about that; that really isn't saying much)
I definitely am not doing KenpoX today. I may do the StretchX later. The truth is, I suffer unduly during this time, so badly that my doctor has suggested, as consolation, that the upside is that childbirth may not be so bad for me. Which only reminds me that I'll probably never have kids now. So, there is no up side. Just pain all around. I really do want babies.
I'm not feeling very positive today.
Stupid hormones. Stupid men. Stupid me for thinking he would be different.
It's an awful moment when you realize you don't trust yourself, much less anyone else.
On the other hand, I'm learning to find some peace in the quiet moments alone puttering about my apartment. Now I just need a couple cats, some rollers, some house shoes, and a housecoat...wait I have a house coat. HA!
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Can I suggest something? This is a wonderful opportunity now that you are freshly out of a relationship to define exactly what it is you want in your ideal relationship, using the "dick" as contrast...and then adding to your list of other things you want the ideal "him" to be like. It may sound corny, but what could it hurt to make a list and just put your nergy into that rather than beating yourself up or concentrating on the "dick?" It's the whole point of my blog...to define what i want in life and give attention toward that.
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